Monday, August 30, 2010

Why does Karl Lagerfeld hate women so much?

I have a dislike/hate relationship with the poncy affectations of Karl Lagerfeld. I didn't like his designs before he joined Chanel, and I have only come to dislike him more ever since. To be fair, I have never been a fan of Chanel. Chanel is for stuffy, too rich for sense, knife sculpted middle aged society women. A bit harsh? I'm just saying exactly what Chanel has conjured up for me since I first started reading fashion magazines which is the only place I see people wearing Chanel. Oh, well, and on the streets of San Francisco occasionally (which only served to prove my original impressions)

Yes, I really do hate those iconic boxy Chanel jackets which didn't do anything for the female figure and yet weren't boxy enough to be androgynous chic and I truly do loath those iconic quilted leather bags with the chain and leather straps copied, god knows why, by absolutely every designer on earth.

So maybe it isn't fair to have an opinion about what Karl Lagerfeld has done to further degrade what little Chanel had going for it in the first place.

On the other hand, every woman has a right to have an opinion about the fashions being designed for her potential purchase.

I have read interviews with Lagerfeld and there is no other designer out there with a more repulsive set of affectations. He hates fat people, that has been made abundantly clear and now, after years of suspecting that he hates women, I finally have proof.

These big shaggy fluffy fur Clan-of-the-Cave-Bear style boots don't even look good on the stringy model- how does anyone think they'd look on a normal sized person? (I already know that on someone like me they would give a fair impression of a tarted up mammoth) There are few designs that can make a woman look worse that the thick fluffy tall boots that stop just under the knee paired with any dress who's hem stops several inches above the knee. A woman would have to have a deal with the devil to have the most sexy knees on earth to carry this look off.

No, I'm wrong, it is impossible. Giant furry fluffy fat boots will never be anything but disfiguring to any woman, thick or thin.

Which is how I know that Karl Lagerfeld not only doesn't find women personally attractive, I think he must have been horribly mistreated by them in his youth.

This is his revenge.

I think medication and therapy would be a more effective way of dealing with his hatred.

And maybe it would also cure him of his habit of wearing ugly sunglasses. Though I admit that's hoping a little too far.

Before this season I have struggled to find a kind thought towards this arrogant ass of a designer, but the gloves are officially off and I don't feel bad about my feelings any more.

I'm not even going to talk about that dress.

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